Rutina Diaria

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Gets out of bed to turn off the alarm clock. Hovers briefly in front of the computer before leaving for the shower. Stands naked in front of wardrobe and thinks about how she needs to put in a few more miles because her thighs are too fat. Get dressed. Eat yogurt. Brush teeth. Foundation, concealer, powder, shadow, liner, mascara, perfume, lip gloss. Go to class and focus on the text book. El libro de texto. Eat lunch at the counter without making eye contact with anyone else in the cafeteria.

Talk about the Holocaust in afternoon class. Watch last night's TV shows on Hulu while nibbling on her 24 daily almonds (exactly one ounce for protein and essential fats). Homework in front of the fireplace listening to Cream on headphones that only play through the right ear. Make a mental note to buy new ones. Forget. Dinner with friends. More homework. Facebook while staying offline. Bed with a well-loved copy of The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes. Smile. Sleep.

Before

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"You sure you're cool with this?"

"Yep."

"I mean..."

"I said I'm fine."

"I know but-"

"Do you want to call him and cancel?"

"Well no."

"Well there you go."

"Alright, if you say so..."

"I do say so."

"Fine."

"Can we just talk about something else?"

"I really like this song?"

"Good. Me too."

"Who is it?"

"...The Beatles?"

"Oh. Really?"

"Yep."

"Huh."

"I thought you were into music?"

"I am. I just... didn't recognize the song."

"But... it's... nevermind."

"Is this really bad? I mean, I should know this..."

"Well yeah. You should."

"Are you sure you're Ok?"

"Jesus Christ on a rubber crutch will you stop asking me that?"

"Ok! Ok! I just... I mean..."

"He hates this song."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh..."

"You look good."

"Thanks."

"Have fun tonight."

"Yeah... I will."

Don't You Dare

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Hey there you,
yes you.
You there little girl -
Why won't you look at me?
Why won't you answer?
You know I'm talking to you,
Kid.
So listen up.
Wipe those stupid tears away right now.
Right Now.
Seriously.
What is wrong with you?
What reason do you have to cry?
Is this about him?
Oh honey, oh child,
This better not be about him.
Do you think he's crying about you right now?
Well?
Do you?
Yeah.
That's what I thought.
So why are you crying over him?
Remember in kindergarten?
It wasn't all that long ago.
They told you the Golden Rule:
Treat Others As You Want To Be Treated.
Well, he's not treating you with sympathy,
compassion, respect, understanding,
Tears.
So why are you?
Now wash your face,
And brush your hair,
And take that damn black hoodie off -
For crying out loud, is that really the kind of girl you are?
The kind that cries over boys
When they don't cry over her?
Yeah.
You're welcome.
Now don't you dare apologize.

I was going to let out some angst... but...

credit

No one likes to read about people feeling sorry for themselves. Proven fact. Whiny little girls, as a rule, should not be given access to their own websites because they will inevitably wind up annoying the hell out of everyone around them.

So, bearing this in mind, here is a top-of-my-head list of all the things that make me awesome:

-I rock the hell out of this bright, rich turquoise color that happens to be my favorite shade on the planet

-I have, on occasion, been known to pull some pretty fantastic writing out of nowhere just before a paper's due

-I love the people that matter in my life so deeply it baffles me, and it takes a whole hell of a lot to change that

-My hair is bouncy, my eyelashes are a mile long, and I have a more than adequate bod despite a love of carbs and an aversion to any exercise that requires real sweating

-I can identify anyone from Greco-Roman mythology by name alone

-There are people who love me as much as I love them... even if they are far away

-I have a steady hand and sharp sight on the shooting range

-My cooking kicks ass

-I can connect with almost any dog I encounter

-I know my hockey

-I dominate at any game an old fart from Michigan can play: euchre, shuffleboard, cribbage

-I can organize herds of drunk college students without getting called "mom"

-I'm equally adept at flirting and being one of the guys

So... I really have no reason to be upset right now. Cause I'm a pretty sweet person.

Hey, if you wanted to read someone's humble thoughts on themselves, go read a blog called "milkmaid complex" or something.